First Surgery

So after my first surgery in May of 2003, I thought I would be feeling great.  I was so looking forward to getting my energy back.  I can't tell you how depressing it is to be in your early 20's and never want to do anything because you are in pain or because you don't know when your next episode of not being able to move will be.  Urg.  So annoying.  I had my whole summer planned: I was going to the pool at my apartment complex every day, attend every party and BBQ I was invited too and get back to working out since I had stopped about the year before.   I was not fat but I was not as toned and it was going to bounce right back. Before any of that, I needed to have my follow up and get my clean bill of health and have Dr. Bergstrom help me understand about my endometriosis and the surgery.

So the surgery was a shock to me and to Dr. B as well.  He could not believe I had so much endo and that I was completely filled.   I mentioned the pictures before and, to me, it looked like someone had taken an old Polaroid and squeezed it so the black ink was every where, all of that could not be inside me. 
~So it is important to note at this time that I was 25 and had always mentioned how chronic my pain had been for years, it is not Dr. B's fault that he did not immediately identify what was wrong with me (or any of the other OBGYN's)  that would have put me at a teenager when it started.  We know now based on the pictures that is exactly what happened but that is almost unheard of.  I can see that now but let me tell ya, I was pissed for a few years after that.~  If someone actually reads this and then they happen to be in their teens, don't automatically assume the worst.  Just ensure you are clearly able to communicate what is going on with you and keep a pain journal.  I did not do this initially but over the last few years it has been a lifesaver.~
He let me know that while he got a lot of it, there was still a lot left and it had done some damage to my reproductive organs.  Our next steps are to 1) try and slow or stop the endo 2) see how much damage had been done.

The first step was to put me into medical menopause with Lupron.  It is a shot that shuts down your ovaries and cycle.  I was not thrilled with the idea of it but decided to try it and hope for the best.  Honestly, the loom of trying to figure out the damage was much tougher to think about.    The best I can say about the shot was it only lasted three months.  Menopause at 25 sucks and being thrown into it in one dr. visit is no easy ride on your body.   Hot flashes, oy.... they are no joke.  

Figuring out the damage done was less of a joke and literally a pain.   After more tests than I can remember and how painful they were we found out that both of my tubes and my left ovary were completely 'dead'.   A second surgery, a laporotomy, was needed to remove my ovary, both tubes, the remaining endo and clear up any adhesion's.   We scheduled for August, three months after my first surgery.   The good news was after that surgery, I really was feeling a lot better. 

Up until now, I had been feeling a little better since the surgery from a pain perspective but I was dealing with the effects of Lupron so I still felt cranky, hot and uncomfortable.   After the August surgery I had energy and was doing good.   Prior to the surgery Dr. B had let me know that if we did this, there would be no chance of me getting pregnant on my own.  We essentially already knew this because my tubes were 100% filled with endometriosis but the surgery makes everything final.   Honestly, I was feeling so bad I did not care before my surgery and I was only 26 and not thinking about kids.   I go back and forth from time to time and think I should not have done it but I know my tubes were dead and the US does not do tubal transplants (not that they are successful in any other country) but IVF would be in my future no matter what.   It still sucks and as irony loves to jump in, after being released from the hospital the TV was on to Father of the Bride 2.. the one that shows he has a baby and a grand baby.   For some reason it hit me then.  That was a little tough to watch.